Author: jtheato

I have always enjoyed reading but I have a golden rule that I believe more people should follow: Don’t read books about things that don’t interest you!

It really is that simple folks. Ok… I will expand a little bit more.

Many people (myself among them) feel a sense of rising dread when starting a new book. “What if I don’t enjoy it?” “What if the dog dies?” “What if I get bored halfway through and this book ends up on the pile of 20 others like it on my bedside table?”

With that tempest of thoughts swirling through our minds it’s little wonder that most people would rather play it safe and simply never turn the first page. Reading a book is undoubtably a larger commitment of your time than many other forms of entertainment but you must bear in mind both my golden rule and also a rather depressing truth. 90% of everything (not just books!) is crap. This is the sad reality of our world.

But! You owe it to yourself to toss the rubbish books on the fire. Do not tolerate crap books. But when you first experience that feeling of two hours passing in an instant as you become more and more absorbed into a fantastic book, the time you wasted with the pile of failures sat next to you will seem immaterial.

So, onto the books.

I have a wide range of interests, so please forgive me if these books seem to have no common theme. What I cannot abide however is poor writing (how ironic that I have subjected you to just that by your reading of this blog! My sincere apologies…) and so irrespective of the theme of the book, be it fiction or non fiction, the writing should be of the highest quality.

Good books can come from anyone and can be about anything, what matters is the passion and talent of the author. I have read truly fantastic books about coal mining, shipwrecks, barefoot running, jet engines, espionage, musical instruments and even the humble cabbage.

These have been selected in line with my own interests. I assume dear reader if you are on this website then we have similar interests, if not, apply the golden rule and go read something you will enjoy!!

These are in no particular order, and this being my website I can’t be bothered to write a lengthy review of each. A brief synopsis will be provided but my immaculate taste should be trusted implicitly. Thank you !

Number Five- Gates of Fire, Stephen Pressfield.

A fantastic story about the 300 Spartans at the Battle of Thermopylae.

Number Four- Fate Is The Hunter, Ernest K. Gann

A memoir from the early days of commercial aviation, as a current airline pilot it’s incredible to see how much has changed, and how much hasn’t…

Number Three- The Fourth Protocol, Frederick Forsyth

I couldn’t possibly write this list without including at least one of Forsyth’s books. This is my favourite, a Cold War classic about a nuclear bomb. Suspense abounds in this one, not recommended for readers with a heart condition. One last thing, DO NOT WATCH THE FILM!! It is truly pants

Number Two- Captain Corelli’s Mandolin,  Louis de Bernières

Without meaning to disappear up my own backside, this is a truly lovely story of human connection set on a Greek Island during the Second World War. There’s a goat too.

Number One- The one you discover!

Please forgive me for the cop-out (I couldn’t choose a number one!) so allow me to ask you to choose for me. Go out and read until your eyes turn square. Give a book 50 pages to warm up, 100 at a push, if it hasn’t captured your imagination by then toss it in the bin. Let me know what you discover. I hope you enjoy!

Write in and let me know how you get on. Ignore the purists who tell you that audio books don’t count. They have been the only way l’ve been able to tackle some of the giant classics, Great Expectations, Moby dick etc. Look for one narrated by Martin Jarvis and you won’t be disappointed. I’d recommend his rendition of A Tale of Two Cities, simply fantastic.

All the best and enjoy your New Year,

Joe Theato

Trafalgar, Agincourt, The Nile, Waterloo… these events should stir the heart of any Englishman. And yet, there can be no debate that the French have inflicted upon us a total defeat on the battlefield of the vending machine.

I recently spent a month living in Paris completing my type rating for my first job as an airline pilot. Part of the joy of this career is getting to spend an exorbitant amount of time in industrial units late at night waiting for the preceding crew (who are almost always Italians) to exit the simulator. It was during this time that I first became aquatinted with the French Vending Machine.

I should perhaps start with the coffee. For 50 cents you can buy a coffee that tastes better than almost anything I’ve ever drunk in the UK. Once you’ve whet your appetite with the coffee, take a look inside the vending machine itself. You can imagine my shock dear reader when, the first time I did this, I was not met with the familiar packet of stale quavers and a twix. No monsieur! Instead there were sandwiches, delicious caesar salads and perhaps most amazingly of all; a slice of cake.

For four euros, you could have a veritable feast delivered to you. Most remarkably of all was the absence of crippling guilt felt shortly after eating anything out of a British vending machine. I had no cold sweats or sleepless nights worrying how I could explain my selection to the aeromedical examiner.

So, I didn’t just return from Paris with a fresh ATR type rating, a raging cough, a newfound appreciation of retreat and a silly hat. I still got all those things, but I will forever more be espousing the virtues of the French vending machine to anyone who is unlucky enough to have to listen!

Yours Sincerely,

Joe Theato